Bits and pieces (not the shitty old Tower secondhand store)

American Idol: Give me a minute to stop shrieking with unaldulterated joy as I again recall last night's elimination. I realize a lot of people are pissed that Chris went home, but I am absolutely delighted and not afraid to admit it. Chris was talented and easy on the eyes, but my heart belongs to Taylor...and Elliot has recently claimed a large chunk of it. Now that Chris is gone, there's no doubt in my mind that one of those beefcakes is going to win! I would love to see them battle it out in the last week. Thank God there are only two weeks left of this because I don't feel comfortable wasting two hours voting obsessively each Tuesday night. Life seems too short, you know?

Weather: Where did spring go? It is cold and rainy here EVERY SINGLE DAY. I froze my ass off every time I walked to and from work this week. I'm so tempted to just swallow my pride and allow winter accessories, such as hats and scarves, to help guard me against the bitter lake wind. Can't do it though. It's the middle of freaking May. This one is all about principle.

People who come to work sick: Fuck 'em. Though it wasn't marked on my calendar, I'm pretty sure this was National Accountants Coughing on Other Accoutants Week. As of quitting time today, I believe I was the last healthy number cruncher in my office. It's coming though. I can feel it in my throat. Of all the weekends to get sick, this would not be the best one. So, I'm battling it the way I do every ailment....by buying an assortment of overpriced over-the-counter treatments at the very onset of symptoms. Usually this causes my illness to slip quietly away while I curse under my breath all the money I just pissed away on shit I don't need. I'm also planning on consuming 118 fluid ounces of extra pulpy orange juice between now and the time I go to bed tonight. Yes, I realize it's too late for that. No, I don't care much.

My former Burnsville neighbor, Richard: He's an older man, twice my age and then some. Our conversations only ever consisted of him introducing me (each and every time we crossed paths on the street) to Heidi and Princess, his yappy pint-sized poodles, who I was always terrified I was going to step on. The introductions were, without fail, followed by their life stories, complete with detailed descriptions of each dog's personality...and when/where she last crapped. Crazy Rob spent some time getting to know Richard better this week and found out that he was born and raised in Tower! It's a small world after all. If only I'd known sooner, potential conversations with Richard would have been much more tolerable. Oh, the gossip I could have shared with that man! I probably would have even baked him cookies.

Death: No good. Last weekend I attended the funeral of a relative's relative. I didn't know the man very well and we were never close, by any stretch of the imagination. I recognized him mostly as the life of every family party. You could always count on Bob to puke down his shirt or start grabbing asses before the night was through. I was saddened by the news of his death, but I certainly didn't shed any tears over it. That is, until I got to the funeral, where I bawled my eyes out. He died suddenly and completely unexpectedly, at fifty years of age, leaving two daughters and a son behind. He also left behind eleven siblings, and watching this family mourn, listening to them share memories of him, was absolutely heartbreaking.

Feminists: They really bother me.

Dating, the fun stage: I've been spending more time with Will lately and, as anti-dating as I've been, I'm having a lot of fun with him. It seems that we're past awkward and uncomfortable and are now free to be our dorky selves. That's such a nice feeling, especially this early on, when it's still exciting and there's so much to be learned about each other. He's impressed me with his laid back, nonchalant attitude. Take, for example, the day he told me, "I found a dead guy once." He said it in the same tone I would have used if I was telling you, "I drank water yesterday."

Divorce: Another shitty situation. I just found out that my favorite coworker from Blue Cross, my once daily lunch partner, is getting divorced. I feel awful. We're both pretty shy and withdrawn around people that we're unfamiliar with, but during my two years there, we became close and really opened up to each other...especially about our relationship issues. Knowing everything she's gone through and how badly she's been neglected by her husband, I feel like I should be happy about this. I can't though, because it's so difficult for her. The poor girl is twenty-five years old and she's been with her husband for nearly ten years. In her entire life, she's never dated another guy, never kissed another guy, never thought she'd have to. Now, she has to start all over. My heart is breaking for her. I'd like to kick him in the junk.

This weekend: It's going to kick ass. Aurora and I are going to spend the weekend in Tower, partying amongst the locals and throngs of tourists, ringing in the fishing opener Iron Ranger style. To make the weekend even more appealing, Christina is also going to be out tomorrow night and it's rumored that we have a good chance of running into my former classmate, Mr. Mayo. Red, who is unable to spend the weekend with us, has requested that I shower him with love and kisses for her. It's tempting, really, but my goal for the weekend is no kissing anyone in Tower. Actually, it's more a life goal than a weekend goal....I'm taking baby steps though.

My sister-in-law: She's adorable and perky, and she was on the news this week! It was a sweet, feel-good story about encouraging her students to raise money for malaria nets. I almost missed it because my brother didn't bother calling to tell me she was going to be on and my dad called me only forty-five seconds before the story aired. Mike's an idiot.