Update

The call home to see how Lucy is doing went much better today than it did yesterday. Dad was very careful to not sound overly optimistic or inspire any false hope...but today was a good day. She's been able to keep her pills down, along with the culinary delights that Mom has been preparing for her. She even mustered up the strength to chase a squirrel and bark at a visitor. We'll take all the small victories we can get.

When Lucy feels better, so do we. See Goots, that's all it takes! We're so easily pleased! Red and I both made it through the entire day without crying. Okay, I'll admit I cried a little bit when a concerned friend sent me a really sweet, heartfelt e-card. Other than that, no tears! It's been a far cry from last night, when I spent hours feeling sick to my stomach, crying so hard that I couldn't breathe.

Tonight I have to make a decision regarding whether or not I'm going to go home to see her this weekend. Dad has assured me that unless she takes a sudden extreme turn for the worse, a trip home won't mean that I have to watch her die. I think I'm going to go. I didn't want to have to say goodbye, but it feels like the right thing to do. My decision has nothing to do with the fact that Dad has bribed me to go home by offering to have my tire fixed while I'm there. I hope he doesn't think that influenced me. It's just a nice bonus!

Red is leaving work early tomorrow and having Darren drive her to Duluth. My dad is picking us up here and bringing us to Tower for the weekend. On Sunday, he'll be driving us home. Me to Duluth and Red to the cities. You can't tell me I don't have the best dad a kid could ever ask for. Despite the circumstances, I think he's happy about having both of his girls home at once. I wish it didn't take an occasion as depressing as this to make it happen.

One positive side effect of this mourning all was my inability to eat last night. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I was under the 145 pound mark for the first time in months. I feel skinny and the dog is having a good day! This calls for celebration in the form of three pizzas and an order of cheesy bread! Oh yes, I did. And my fat ass is thanking me.

No doubt this weekend will be filled with tears and memories. I'm hoping that next weekend will be filled with booze and cute boys. Do you want to get absolutely shitfaced with me next weekend or what?!