I'm sad, dude.

These past few days, I have been really, inexplicably sad. It's so bizarre. I typically have a natural happiness about me and I bounce through life putting everything into perspective. Bad day on the job? I'll redeem myself tomorrow. Ruined my favorite shirt in the wash? Perfect excuse to go shopping. Some dude's treating me poorly? Screw him, I'll have a replacement in no time.

Turning twenty-five in June was actually pretty tough on me. I feel like I'm spiraling helplessly into a quarter-life crisis. The whole love (or lack thereof) issue, is making me a little crazy.

After breaking up with Chuck about a year ago, I had absolutely no desire to put myself back into a girlfriend position. I'd just shared two years of my young life committed to one man. Half that time was spent living under the same roof as him. It was my first serious relationship, my first taste of true committment. When it ended, I was chomping at the bit...ready to take some time for myself, to have fun, live life for me, see what else was available.

And that's just what I did.

Now that an entire year of boozing and flirting has passed me by, I'm tired. I'm tired of hangovers and bars and kissing boys that I don't know or care about. I'm ready to grow up and settle down...and lately I can't help feeling like I'm not going to find anybody to do that with.

I don't seem to have any problem meeting guys. It's meeting the right type of guy that's troublesome for me. Since moving to Duluth I've spent so much time partying that I've really only met guys who like to do the same, and logically so. Don't get me wrong, I've met some damn cool guys and have had boatloads of fun with them. The problem is, it's just not enough anymore. Guys who are in their mid-twenties and party five nights a week are losing their appeal.

Where the hell am I supposed to meet the kind of guy I'm looking for? Grandma occasionally begs me to meet a good man in church. Do good men really pick up chicks in church? No, really. Do they?

I talked to Chuck for a while today and my pangs of loneliness were so strong that I agreed to marry him a year from now if we're both single and it actually seems like a good idea. Granted, he's not single now, but his relationship won't last long. They never do. So, that's what I have to look forward to. Eternal wedded bliss with Chuck. I may never have sex again, but at least I'll get to enjoy a brief backrub each night before we retire to our separate bedrooms...

On that note...PLEASE, if you know of any absolutely desparate straight men, give them my number.