The beer was BIG.

Today is Saturday. I don't feel very good and I can't make Red wake up to go shoe shopping. Raise your hand if you're surprised. What? Nobody?

Last night was 100% typical Morley sisters fun. We knocked out a 12 pack of Miller Lite in our super fly hotel room while sending text messages to everything male in the Twin Cities metro area. Men can't resist our charms and last night they didn't even try.

Brandon came. Red used to work with him. He sat around the hotel room long enough to have one beer with us, but mostly he just looked nervous. We tend to have that effect too.

We had one beer in the colorful, modern little CP bar but only because I thought our favorite bartender would be serving us. Wrong-o! But guess the hell what! Tequila Bobby wandered over and recognized me and struck up a conversation. AND! He made excuses for standing us up that cold February night, so we invited him to stand us up again last night. Bitch showed up at Majors and had a big ol' beer with us! Suddenly, I feel like a success story.

Good times were had by all at Majors. We walked there, over a large, wet grassy knoll and my flip flops got all slippery and wouldn't stay on. I lost one right in the middle of Normandale Road or whatever it's called. Ironically, a bit earlier in the evening Red and I were talking about a girl who got hit by a car when she ran into the street to retrieve her cute shoe that had fallen off. We probably could have walked away (in an ambulance) with a pretty good story, had it not been for the tall AV guy push/pulling me off of the road. Foiled!

We sat outside at Majors and it made me think of Aurora and damn it, she should have been there because she always talks about going there in the summer and sitting outside. Tom was there. So was Rob. I think Tom came to see us, but I'm pretty sure Rob was only there because the place was crawling with his high school classmates, all of whom are female, all of whom are fucking beautiful and look to be at least 15 years younger than he is. We didn't talk to Rob much, but not because I didn't put forth any special effort. I grabbed his ass each and every time I walked by him on my way to the bathroom and that was a lot of times.

Majors closed and we came back here and somehow didn't get kicked out. We think the staff may have recognized our names and put us in the asbestos wing. Aside from the loud housekeeping staff, who probably just comes to this part of the building to smoke pot and eat cheetos, there's nobody around and we had to take a whole different set of elevators to get to our room. No walking by the pool to check out the sexy old pot-bellied DILFs. Hmmm, sad.

Last night Red read Bible passages to me and applied them to my everyday life like any good priest would have done, but today I can't get her to wake up.

God bless wireless internet and long weekends.