Go back to sleep and I'll buy you a grab bag tomorrow.

I'm mildly disappointed to report that I had a pretty damn good time at the state fair. Red totally wasn't feeling it because she drank too much the night before but Nic and I were all, "oh no, you dih-int. Put your gd shoes on your gd broken feet and let's go."

We headed straight for the farm area because my boyfriend loves me. Aside from the fact that Red and I got to pet a newborn eeb piglet, it was pretty uneventful. The horses wanted nothing to do with me, sadly, but it was in the horse building that we met up with Abby and Kristi, so I did get a little action, if you know what I'm saying and I think you do. (Hugs count as action because I was having my period.)

After leaving those stank animal buildings, we spent the rest of our fair experience eating and drinking, which I hear is what the fair is really there for. Boy, oh boy. Deep fried dill pickles are like a cute boy who just won't text me back. I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM. No matter how hard I try. The elephant ears were also delicious. And the cheese curds? Well, to be honest, I don't know why I always insist on getting cheese curds because they're kind of disgusting. Speaking of disgusting, you know what never is? Summer Shandy, which the fair had on tap. YUM. Being the mature adult that I am, I only had a couple. Nic didn't win me anything, though he sure tried. I love you, Nic, but close doesn't count.

After the fair, we fully intended to go to Riverwood Drive to attend Tuna's bonfire, but it just wasn't in the cards. I still feel guilty because we thought we were home free, but she called after we'd been sitting in traffic for half an hour and, based on earlier conversations, I exclaimed that yes! We would be there soon! When I hung up the phone, I believe I saw Nic's eyes well up with tears, which he brushed away, insisting that he was so tired his eyes were blurry. Sure, Nic. You wipe that blurry out.

So...we went back to Red's to hit the sack. Going back to Red's to hit the sack now means playing wii for two hours. And that's just what we did. Wii kicked my ass, yet again. Not only did Wii kick my ass, but Red and Nic also did, repeatedly. How did I go from such a tennis prodigy to the biggest fucking loser? I regret calling my opponent a "lesbian retard" and a "dyke bitch." I learned some things about myself this weekend, namely that I subconsciously equate short hair with homosexuality. By that logic, I've been a lesbian many times in my life, and I'm not even talking about the times I was making out with girls.

I also learned that I'm still awfully out of shape, as evidenced by the fact that the wii made me it's bitch so hard that I had to brush my teeth with my left hand on both Saturday and Sunday nights. Then, because I'm an idiot and also because I really want my pants from last summer to fit, I went running for the first time last night. Nic and I have been talking about doing this for a while, but it just never happened and now I know why. I'm walking like a 90 year old with rheumatoid arthritis today and I'm not even sure I actually ran 1.5 miles....certainly not consecutively. There were lots of walking breaks. At one point, when we'd been running for maybe 45 seconds, Nic was adjusting his shorts and dropped his keys. I stopped running immediately and exclaimed, "thank GOD you dropped your keys." He laughed like I was kidding...and then we walked for a mile. The weather was perfect for my first running experience though, if only because it was raining and there was almost nobody on the trail. Oh! Except for the sweet, old golden retriever who walked with us for a while! Despite my non-stop bitching, I think I would like to try this running thing again, maybe even make it a sometimes habit. That's one of those statements I'll read ten years from now and laugh my ass off at. I have never before had so much respect and admiration for Nic and his ability to run half marathons. Thirteen miles without stopping once...without even walking. My boyfriend is a stud.