100 Things About Me

This is my half-hearted attempt to catch up with everyone else in the blogging world. Here they are, one hundred random, useless facts about me:

1. I'm obsessed with The Golden Girls.
2. I usually cure a bad hangover with a BK whopper and fries.
3. I have a fear of the dark, thanks in large part, to years of watching Unsolved Mysteries.
4. Broccoli is one of my favorite foods.
5. My favorite tool is a thesaurus.
6. I love kids and can't wait to have my own.
7. I graduated #1 in my high school class.
8. I pull out my crayons and coloring book when I'm stressed.
9. Bubble baths are a favorite pasttime of mine. I take one, sometimes two, every evening that I'm home.
10. I am far more interested than I probably should be in the lives of celebrities.
11. I love to bowl and I have my own glittery pink ball.
12. When I was waiting for the bus one day in elementary school, I slipped on a patch of ice and broke my fall with my nose. That's why it looks like it does today.
13. I was a conniving, manipulative child.
14. I have a (flabby) stomach of steel. I haven't thrown up in probably fifteen years.
15. I can't cook.
16. I'm a dog person...who happens to be afraid of most other people's dogs.
17. I love sneezing.
18. I procrastinate--everything, all the time.
19. One of my favorite pasttimes is scrapbooking. When I was in high school, a teacher was so impressed with my skills that she actually suggested I make a living doing it. Wouldn't that be the life?
20. Do you know those people who claim that everyone can dance? I'm living proof that it's not true.
21. I want to be an anthropologist when I grow up.
22. I like older men.
23. The first time I ever drove a snowmobile, I hit a tree.
24. My family refers to me as "princess."
25. I love Lake Superior more than life itself.
26. At the time of the month when most women crave chocolate, I crave ketchup.
27. I can't enter a toy store without stopping to check out the Cabbage Patch Kids selection.
28. I'm terrified of parasites. Woodticks and leeches especially...EWWW!
29. The sun makes me blister and peel. My brother got all the pigment in the family.
30. I cut my own hair.
31. I love Christmas movies.
32. I was docked points on my driver's license test for driving too slowly.
33. If I won the lottery, the first thing I'd buy is a maid for my one-bedroom apartment. Of course, if I won the lottery, I'd probably move out of my one-bedroom apartment.
34. I hope to someday marry Steve Young, but I'd settle for Jimmy Kimmel.
35. I miss Cheapo so much it sometimes hurts.
36. I worked in Ely one summer with a cute lesbian and a woman who refused to shave the thick black hair from her legs, despite wearing a skirt to work most days.
37. I wish I knew how to be stylish.
38. I'm awfully forgetful.
39. The ladies restroom at my workplace has a handicapped stall but you have to go up a couple of steps to get into the restroom.
40. I was a dork in high school. Some things never change...
41. Immediate family members excepted, I never call anyone.
42. When I was a young'un, my goal was to work for the county when I grew up. Mission accomplished!
43. During my two years living in the cities, I was on a constant mission to defend the great city of Duluth and the UMD Bulldogs whenever the opportunities presented themselves.
44. I'm a bleeder. I bet I burn through more than Band-aids than everyone reading this combined.
45. I sleep with my window wide open at least three or four times a week, all winter long. I haven't even turned my heat on yet this year.
46. I often wonder if I'm mentally unstable.
47. I've been driving for nine years and, in that time, I have never been pulled over.
48. I've always been a goody two shoes. In third grade, one of the rebellious, cool girls ridiculed me after unsuccessfully trying to convince me to say "mother fucker." I think I cried. Then she moved to Georgia to marry her brother and bear his mentally challenged children. Whatever.
49. I always seem to cause my sister bodily harm. I swear it's unintentional...but nine times out of ten when we spend prolonged periods of time together, I regretfully send her home injured.
50. I cannot keep plants alive.
51. I love vinegar so much that there was a time in my life when I'd take hits of it straight from the bottle.
52. I developed serious stress-induced acne at TWENTY-THREE YEARS OF AGE. Life's such a bitch sometimes.
53. I was rumored to be a lesbian in high school. Who started the rumor? The not-yet-out-of-the-closet gay kid from Indiana.
54. When I was in college, a foul-smelling, chain-smoking, middle-aged alcoholic who resided at the local mental home asked me out repeatedly, claiming he could "turn me into a real woman." I think he'd just received a new organ, though I'm not sure which one. Whatever the case, I clearly remember him telling me that he felt twenty-five again.
55. I hate going on dates. They make me very nervous.
56. I've never smoked.
57. I still occasionally cry to get my way.
58. To me, there is no bigger turn-on than a uniform.
59. Ore boats make me giddy.
60. Some of my very favorite memories are from the many road trips Dad took us on throughout the years. I bet we hit thirty states in that comfy old van.
61. I only recently started getting along with my brother. Who knew that marriage would cause him to grow up (a little)?
62. I love banana flavored baked goods, banana flavored ice cream, banana flavored candy. But bananas? Blech! I can't stand them.
63. I walk to work every single day. For some reason, I refuse to walk on the road. Instead, I trudge through the knee-deep snow along the side of the road because, damn it, I know there's a sidewalk under there somewhere.
64. I love the scent of gasoline and really strong permanent markers.
65. I adore old people. Sometimes they randomly make me cry. Hormones and old folks.
66. I don't wear jewelry.
67. I'd like to write a trashy romance novel someday.
68. I appreciate the most unpolitically-correct jokes out there. Derogatory women jokes especially.
69. When I'm sober, I hate being the focus of attention.
70. I don't take compliments well. I like them, but I just never know how to respond to them.
71. I grew up in an outdoorsy hunting and fishing family, and I've never baited a hook.
72. I was once presented with an autographed book about dinosaur eggs in front of a class of approximately 250 people after scoring 100% on a Life and Death of the Dinosaurs exam. Interesting side note: my professor arrived to class each day wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt depicting whichever dinosaur we would be focusing on that day.
73. I didn't attend nearly as many classes as I skipped during my last two years of college.
74. In eighth and ninth grade home economics, I messed up everything I attempted...sewing, cooking, even filling my sink with water, for God's sake. I'm going to make an awful wife someday.
75. I love board games.
76. In high school, I volunteered as a "student teacher" in the kindergarten classroom during my study hall. The job basically involved putting toothpaste on the youngster's toothbrushes and reading them stories. I did get to accompany them on a field trip to the hospital though!
77. I wish I had more run-ins with celebrities. Almost a year ago, I saw Kirstie Alley at Target. I know--who gives a shit? She's not nearly as sexy or famous as she was in her Rebecca days. I still tell everyone about it though.
78. I could easily drink an entire gallon of skim milk every day if I allowed myself.
79. Old country music is my favorite. Randy Travis makes me swoon.
80. There are several blogs that I absolutely detest, but can't bring myself to stop reading.
81. I need to clean up my language a little.
82. My dad once bribed me with a folding buck knife to stop biting my nails.
83. I only have one grandparent left. She's ninety-three years old...and fiesty as can be.
84. A trip to the supply closet always makes a bad day at work better for me. There's something satisfying about unlimited access to highlighters and post-its.
85. Sometimes I drink wine to make myself feel more like an adult. Coffee would really make me feel grown-up, but I can't bring myself to do it.
86. I've only been to a sex store once. I was carded and followed around like a twice-convicted serial midget porn thief the entire time I was there. It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my entire life.
87. I weigh myself every day.
88. I have feature length film-induced ADD. It's nearly impossible for me to sit through an entire movie.
89. I'm a follower.
90. When I was three years old, I named one of my dolls "Oh Shit."
91. I'm comforted by a symphony of weird sounds. A broom sweeping the floor, the hum of a vacuum or washing machine, change in somebody's pocket...they all relax me and make me want to sleep.
92. I chew a lot of gum...so much, in fact, that when the janitor at Blue Cross started noticing the large quantities of it in my trash at the end of each workday, he pulled my boss aside to express his concern.
93. Growing up, I had imaginary parents, Rick and Janet, two imaginary best friends, Tonk and Billy, and an imaginary teacher, whose name I have since forgotten (she wasn't that important to me).
94. Brody inadvertently nicknamed me Neejer when he was learning to talk. He'd get the syllables in my name mixed up and call me Aneej. It evolved into Neejer and, more recently, Nij.
95. Modesty is the one quality I appreciate more than any other.
96. I've never used the snooze feature on an alarm clock before.
97. When I'm sad, new lip gloss usually makes me feel better.
98. I have absolutely no musical ability.
99. Though I love them dearly, I look to my parents as an example of what I don't want my life to end up resembling.
100. I can't nap enough. I'm going to take one now.