There may be bugs on some of your mugs, but there ain't no bugs on me!

Ahh, to get home from work just as the biweekly lawn mowing begins... Jesus loves me extra today, folks, and I'm not just saying that because I've been listening to the Evangelical radio station every day on my way to and from work.

So, a quick story that I can't believe I forgot to share in my 4th of July blog, but absolutely must share now because, as freaking anti-funny as it was at the time, I think I will laugh about it for years to come...but that's only if I can remember it.

Here we go. There's a guy named Tom who added me as a friend on myspace a couple of years ago and consistently sent messages every single day for at least six months. At one point I was drunk enough to give him my phone number when he asked, so we even talked on the phone once, and I got heaps of text messages from him. He's in his late 30s, has a daughter, is very creative (BAH!), and asked me out more times than I can count on all of my fingers and toes. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but it was obvious that he was cyber-whispering the same sweet nothings to all the other bitches he myspace stalked and, in addition, I had no desire to get involved with a guy who has a kid. Or is that old. Or that creative. So, we never met. End of story, I thought.

About six months ago, I'm guessing, Phlange from high school started appearing on his myspace page, leaving comments that led me to believe they were seeing each other and boy, did she want everybody to know about it! What's funny is that Tom has been my "friend" long enough for me to understand that when he really digs a girl, his page reflects it....there are pictures of her, his status proudly proclaims that he's in a relationship, she's number one on his top friends, etc. With Phlange? None of that! Her page, on the other hand, reeked of relationship. I almost puked the first time I saw that her display name was ~~-~~Tom's Girlfriend~~-~~. What does ~~-~~ mean anyway? Red and I thought it was absolutely hilarious.

Just when the funny situation couldn't get much funnier, Red calls at work one day to tell me that Phlange is pregnant. I laughed so hard I cried, and we began cyber-stalking the pair even more intently. It is our belief that she permanently trapped him in a one-sided love affair. We tend to see the best in people like that.

Annnnyway, on the 4th of July, we saw Phlange and Tom in the kiddie parade with his daughter, her son, and one extra kiddo. I had never seen him in person before. Red and I had a good laugh and I forgot about it...that is, until after the parade when Red was buzzed (not that she wouldn't have done this if she was sober) and started yelling "Phlange! Phlange!" when she saw the pair walk by. So, they moseyed on over and Red was introduced to Tom and they talked their small talk. I was beyond uncomfortable with the situation, so I turned my back on the trainwreck couple to try to drag Dad away from the scene. Before long, I felt a little tap tappity tap on my back and turned to see Tom standing behind me. "Still in Duluth?" I didn't know what to do, so I shook his hand and told him it was nice to finally meet him. Drrr... I hate small talk to start with, but this was, without a doubt, the most awkward small talk of my entire life. THANKS, RED, YOU DIRTY WHORE. I tell ya, the beer started tasting a lot better after that.

Man, am I enjoying this summer. Last night Aurora was in town so we did the nice, long walk to Leif Erikson park and back that we used to do a few times a week when she lived in Duluth. It was so nice to catch up on over three months of long overdue gossiping. So nice, in fact, that she is considering coming back on Friday night so we can walk, do dinner, have margaritas, and check out the 1st Street Dance/Grand Opening of Oly's, the bar formerly known as Pioneeroes. How excited am I?!

Other than that, it's been a quiet week of just relaxing myself back into the whole work routine. I've been catching up on my sleep, my celebrity trash mags, and my time with Nic. The other night we cuddled up on the couch and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was possibly the cutest movie I have ever seen, which led to a conversation about the first movies we ever saw in the theater, which led to one of the cutest stories I have ever heard. Nic's grandma and grandpa took him to see The Jungle Book when he was four or five years old. At least he thinks it was The Jungle Book. That particular detail is a little fuzzy, but what he does remember was being so inconsolably upset at the beginning of the movie when an animal got hit over the head and appeared to be dead, that his grandparents had to take him out of the theater and they all missed the rest of the movie. I found that story so sweet and SO NIC. He's such a sensitive soul and has an innocent, childlike love of animals and there are days when I just can't stop kissing his stubbly cheeks and thanking God and match.com for bringing him into my life.

Dishes time. I haven't done them since before I left for San Francisco. I'm such a slob.