Truth be told...

Anyone who's ever had to write a resume knows that it's a bitch. That bitch was my goal today and I had a serious case of resume writer's block. I'm not even looking for a job, so I lack the motivation to produce a flawless account of my accomplishments. I looked to UMD's career services site for a little guidance. There I came across a gigantic list of resume-worthy action verbs. By golly, I wasn't going to rest until I went through every single one of those words to see if/how each could be used to describe my current position. I came up with....

Acquired a bad cold from the guy across the row
Activated the security alarm by forgetting to present my badge upon entry
Added numbers together
Budgeted three dollars every six months for a hot dog at the department picnic
Calculated, on the hour, every hour, how many minutes were left in the day
Developed mild OCD
Did some stuff
Enjoyed talking smack about co-workers during lunch
Enlarged my bank account, though not by much
Fabricated illnesses for those days I couldn't bring myself to call in again with cramps
Filed for four straight hours one day
Founded out just how good I really am at accounting
Gained the respect and admiration of the resident janitor
Grossed out my boss when I sneezed too close to him (see also acquired)
Highlighted with my new pink highlighter
Hiked as quickly as possible up two flights of stairs to freedom each afternoon
Opened my mail
Perfected just about everything I do...naturally.
Retrieved lots of new and exciting office goodies from the supplies cabinet
Sifted through endless financial reports, pretending to be busy
Sketched small hearts and flowers around the perimeter of my legal pad
Suggested we all go home early again
Typed emails to Red and Chuck and Bridget
Updated my resume (that one was today!)


The person I admire for today:
Dilbert. I think he and I have a lot in common.