Dear Dad,

I picked out a puppy yesterday! I can't even tell you how excited I am about getting her home. She's an absolutely beautiful golden retriever. She was born two days after you died. On the bright side, I guess we'll never forget her birthday, right?

I'm really excited to bring her home over Easter weekend to meet Mom and Lucy and Mike's dogs. I think Mike's family and Red might come meet her next weekend in Duluth. Well, they won't really be coming specifically to meet her. They'll be coming to do wedding shit, but hello! Adorable little bonus! Just between you and me, I think Red is mostly coming because of the puppy. You know she's like that.

We haven't decided for sure on a name yet, though I called Red a little while ago and we went through my preliminary list together. She threw most of my choices out, which sort of pissed me off because I really do have good taste, but at least it will be easier for Nic and me to choose now that we have a shorter list. I'm sure he'll throw most of the remaining names out. If it's this hard to name a dog, I don't even want to think about having kids.

Our new addition comes from a long line of champion hunters, so I think Nic is pretty excited get into the woods with her. He hasn't hunted since his yellow lab (who's still alive, if you can believe that!) got too old to go out with him. Personally, I'm hoping she'll be able to fill a void in my life. Between losing you and Nic working so much (his phone seriously rings constantly) I've been having some trouble coping with the day-to-day. It will be nice to have somebody excited to see me every day when I get home from work. And somebody to snuggle up with in the evenings while I read. And somebody to walk on the lakewalk with anytime I want to. I think she's just perfect for the job. The doctor is going to give her a shot tomorrow and she's a little dandruffy so the breeders are going to give her a bath, but then she's ours. I'm hoping we get to take her home tomorrow night, but it might have to wait until Wednesday because we have pre-marriage counseling on Tuesday. You'd have loved her. I can just hear you saying that you know of a good home for her if we can't keep her for any reason. I hope your crabby old lady isn't too mean to her!

Other than that, not a whole lot is new. We've been diligently planning this little wedding of ours. We have officially booked the honeymoon that I thought was officially booked several months ago and now October can't get here fast enough. I guess I should be careful what I wish for...I'm sure time is going to pass quickly enough on its own and we still have plenty of planning and saving to do. But, still, seven nights in Antiqua! It's hard to not get excited about that. I've already been shopping for swimsuits and self-tanner. Can't have one without the other in my case.

Work is a mess and I think the source of most of my stress right now. I used to be proud of my expertise at separating my work life and home life. When I walked out that door in the afternoon, I didn't think about what I was leaving behind until I walked back in at 7am. It's becoming harder and harder for me to do that. Remember when I told you I wanted a job in a place where everything is a mess and they don't know what they're doing? I'd like to take that back, but it's too late. That's one wish that came true. What the hell was I thinking? I like a good challenge but, holy shit, this challenge is probably a little too good.

I've been having some issues getting along with Mom. I found out that she has been smoking in the house. You know how I feel about that. Well, I feel even worse about it since you're gone. It's so damned disrespectful...but why would she start respecting you now? Anyway, the rock had a talk with her about it and she has supposedly stopped. Not stopped smoking, but stopped smoking in the house. I don't believe it will last long, but we're trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Or something. I'm glad Mike was the one to walk in and smell gross cigarette smoke mixed with the telltale scent of a shitty vanilla candle (when the hell has mom ever burned candles? She seriously thinks we are mentally challenged) because he handled it a lot more calmly than I would have. I guarantee my initial reaction would have been rage and I would have done my best to make her cry at which point I probably would have made her cry harder and then I would have turned around and driven right back to Duluth. I'm filled with rage just thinking about it. I don't even care anymore if she smokes, as long as she gets off her lazy ass and walks outside to do it. Aaaaand, calm. My temper doesn't work wonders for my stress level.

I'm off to do some puppy proofing/studying. Please continue to watch over me, and feel free to spend a little more time with me when the puppy comes home. Subtle suggestions are welcome. Though we are going to avoid the newspaper-swatting and rub-her-face-in-it schools of discipline, you raised some damn good pets and I like to think I can still learn from you even though you're not here physically.

Love you. Miss you.

Angie